Dad at WrestleMania Spends Three Hours Commenting on Poor Table Craftsmanship
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2024-04-07 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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New York City Residents Instructed to Stay Home to Avoid Small Talk About Earthquake
BY 2024-04-06 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Outraged Joe Biden Says We Won’t Personally Kiss Each Missile In Next Round of Artillery Sent to Israel
BY 2024-04-05 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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New Disney Movie Teaches Kids The Magical Whimsy of Maximizing Shareholder Value
BY 2024-04-04 00:00:13 +0000 UTC
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Straight Edge Band Breaks Edge On Stage 5 Minutes Into First Show
BY 2024-04-03 00:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Andrew W.K. Tries to Convince Friends He Always Wore Pink Jeans After Laundry Mishap
BY 2024-04-02 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Child Laborer at Fast Fashion Warehouse Can’t Keep Up with Metallica Partnerships
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2024-04-01 00:00:34 +0000 UTC
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Punk Celebrates Easter by Painting Eggs Before Throwing Them at Police Station
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2024-03-31 00:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Ghost Plays Show With Hotel Wastebaskets Over Heads After Luggage Containing Masks Gets Lost at Airport
BY 2024-03-30 00:00:07 +0000 UTC
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AI-Generated Metal Album Artwork Gives Rotting Corpse Horrifying Amount of Fingers
BY 2024-03-29 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Male Supreme Court Justices Finally Learn Details About Abortion Pill They’ve Paid for Countless Times
BY 2024-03-27 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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CEO Calls All Hands on Deck Meeting to Tell Employees About Cool Band He Discovered, Also Massive Layoffs
BY 2024-03-26 00:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Man Humiliated at Karaoke Bar After Forgetting Lyrics to Daft Punk’s “Around the World”
BY 2024-03-25 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Goth Woman Uses Incognito Mode to Shop for Sensible Shoes
BY 2024-03-24 00:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Neil Young Returns to Spotify After Realizing He Needs a Few Quarters to Feed Parking Meter
BY 2024-03-23 00:00:06 +0000 UTC
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The Next Rick Rubin? I Have No Technical Skills or Musical Ability and Would Like To Produce Your Album
BY 2024-03-22 00:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Kate Middleton Body Double Conspiracy Grows After Princess Spotted With Andrew W.K., Avril Lavigne, and the Undertaker
BY 2024-03-21 00:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Opinion: The Government Can Have My Asbestos When They Pry It From My Tenants’ Cold Dead Hands
BY 2024-03-20 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Guy Realizing He Only Knows Lyrics to Part of Pop Song Used in Weird Al Polka Medley
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2024-03-19 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Mike Pence’s Condemnation of Trump Sways Nearly Two Voters Nationwide

BY ALEX ...
2024-03-18 00:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Punk’s Urine Being Green Unrelated to St. Patrick’s Day Bender

BY 2024-03-17 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Punk IT Support Asks if You’ve Tried Punching the Monitor Yet

BY CARTER ...
2024-03-16 00:00:06 +0000 UTC
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We're officially ready to launch the Hard Times Singles Collection experiment. This is an experiment only for Patrons. It's kinda like The Dating Game but for DIY/subculture. Patrons can fill out a form about themselves (think of it like a dating ...
2024-03-15 02:56:26 +0000 UTC
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Punk Alleviates Guilt of Watching Nine Straight Hours of “SVU” by Whispering “ACAB” After Each Episode

BY 2024-03-15 00:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Uninsured American Hoping Doctor Duets Their Video of Weird Rash Before TikTok is Banned

BY 2024-03-14 00:00:08 +0000 UTC
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What’s the Deal With Airline Whistleblowers Mysteriously Dying? (Guest Article by Jerry Seinfeld)

BY 2024-03-13 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Child of Divorced Stoners Not Excited to Celebrate Two 311 Days

BY BOBBY KOREC
2024-03-12 00:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Drummer Feels Left Out After Synchronized Jump

BY RYAN CLARK
EL ...
2024-03-11 00:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Kerry King Desperately Searching Ultimate Guitar App for Correct Tab of “Raining Blood”

BY 2024-03-10 01:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Aging Concertgoers Excitedly Pass Around Little Baggie of Ear Plugs

BY RUSS BIZA...
2024-03-09 01:00:04 +0000 UTC
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