Maya Ben David

had to meditate mid applying eyeliner

Added 2022-10-09 20:32:45 +0000 UTC

I am dragging my tail. For some reason, the filming of my modestycore video has been hard on me emotionally. The other day I set everything up for filming and spent an hour fixing and redoing my eyeliner, which frustrated me. I literally had to sit on the floor and do a 19-minute meditation to relax and get it done. I think since there are a lot of technical aspects of getting a headless woman to look right on camera, it made me feel alone. Any creator confronts this when they are making something hard, the woe at doing every task. Set up, makeup, costume, filming, sound, lighting, acting, video editing, audio editing, and promoting. I don't think I'm unique in this, just struggling! Upon looking at my footage I realized I need to rethink how I separate the head and body, the head just looks pasted on and fake which I don't like. I might actually need to make a hole in the pillow to put my head through. I am also not in love with my makeup choices, she doesn't look distinct enough (besides the bangs). I also think the choice of dark red lipstick was a random one and not thought through. I know you might be thinking, does it matter? It does to me! I rewatch my videos and really care about every micro decision. I am going to reshoot this week, figure out my green screen problem, and really ponder how her character would make up herself. Thank you for being patient, I know I've been a little quiet. Just a lot of frustration, but that's part of the process!

-Your time out rat